Not a very good few days - I have been down with some bug.. - not sure what, Mostly aches and pains, and most of the pain was abdominal and lower back - sort of kidneys and liver.. Also my blood pressure rocketed up to 186/105 . its a bit better now (143/98). The Helen index has also rocked to a 10 though that has also dropped now to round 7 ( I need to do a graphic or something to show my index each time I write here).
As to how I feel - I am feeling very down about being here in La Palma, a lot of it is homesickness, possibly, but I am wondering if coming here was a big mistake. I feel sometimes like there is no ware here that is safe...
This Blog is a journal of my journey from depression and suicide hopefully to a better life as an artist. Over the last 6 years I have been in psychiatric hospitals 3 times - once after a suicide attempted 6 years ago and then twice in the last 3 months. The last time was after a small overdose, followed by an attempted to slash my wrist in hospital and then an attempted at strangling my self using the bandage from my wrist. (I was on suicide watch at the time as well).
Who Am I
- Helen Of Pern
- La Palma Canary Islands, Spain
- A 40 somthing aspiring artist, who has spent most of her life as someone else.
Helen Index Explained
- 0 = Very Very Happy (this is an unnatral state)
- 1 = Very Happy
- 2 = Happy Normal state for most pepole
- 3 = Feel ok - nutral
- 4 = Down but ok
- 5 = Thoughts of Suiside once or twice a week
- 6 = Thoughts of Suiside once or Twice a Day
- 7 = Start Planing Suiside, Hide feelings from others
- 8 = Planing continues, start implimentation
- 9 = Self harm
- 10 = Atempt Suiside
Fun with photoshop
My Other Blogs
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