Star parties and redundancies

The Star Party this weekend at Husmonsux was ok but not for my mental side, I ended up in a gibbering mess on Sunday morning, resulting in the taking of one emergency pill (only one left now) and then sitting in the loo scratching at my wrist with a broken peace of metal.
Things were so bad my partner had to take the next two days off from work as she felt that I was not safe to be left at home. All I wanted to do yesterday was to hide the day away in bed.
Then last night we herd that there will be redudancies at work in our department - the first response was ..... HOORAY! .... And we put our names down for voluntary redundancies. Now I am wondering if that is the right thing to do. If we both get made redundant that we can go off to La Palma, but now I am very nervous about doing that, do I want to leave the place I know?
The last few days I have been worried about next and having to see the Doctor about getting signed off for another month and some of the thoughts were that I would take another overdose if I had to go back to work, but then I am not doing that well at home ether.

Where will I find happiness?