I thought that things were getting better, and then the last few days arrived. My stomach is tied up in knots and my main desire is to curl up in a small ball and hide. I have this part of me inside that keeps on yelling "You are no good", "You can not do it", "It's too much".
All I can do is try to do what I can, and when it gets too much, go and curl up in bed for a while, and distract my self.
Will this ever get better?
This Blog is a journal of my journey from depression and suicide hopefully to a better life as an artist. Over the last 6 years I have been in psychiatric hospitals 3 times - once after a suicide attempted 6 years ago and then twice in the last 3 months. The last time was after a small overdose, followed by an attempted to slash my wrist in hospital and then an attempted at strangling my self using the bandage from my wrist. (I was on suicide watch at the time as well).
Who Am I
- Helen Of Pern
- La Palma Canary Islands, Spain
- A 40 somthing aspiring artist, who has spent most of her life as someone else.
Helen Index Explained
- 0 = Very Very Happy (this is an unnatral state)
- 1 = Very Happy
- 2 = Happy Normal state for most pepole
- 3 = Feel ok - nutral
- 4 = Down but ok
- 5 = Thoughts of Suiside once or twice a week
- 6 = Thoughts of Suiside once or Twice a Day
- 7 = Start Planing Suiside, Hide feelings from others
- 8 = Planing continues, start implimentation
- 9 = Self harm
- 10 = Atempt Suiside
Fun with photoshop
My Other Blogs
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